A Family Heart.

Over a year ago, after a much thought out season, we decided it was time to start our family. The decision had been looming for quite some time. It sat, unspoken for many months, present as it became more and more obvious it was time to take a step in its direction.

I, in particular, wanted to make sure I was ready for something so life-changing. This decision is so personal, so deep-running. It opens you up.

And so when I was ready (with only just the tiniest fraction of hesitancy left) to make it, I felt READY. I wanted to be a mother. It was so obvious. The desire ran through my core- not the youthful hunger-for-a-baby desire-- it was the I want to be-a-mother-to-children desire, to care for them and teach them and watch them grow.

And suddenly, even if we were to conceive that very first month, nine months seemed like an agonizing amount of time to have to wait. Waiting is hard when your heart feels ready.

I don't know why some people get pregnant right away, some accidentally in tough situations, and others so ready- who will be the most wonderful, loving parents must wait different, hard lengths of time.

But I do know this, a baby is always a blessing. Always. And that knowledge, despite how long or unexpected the road is to achieving a family, blesses those who are on the journey. God blesses those with a mother heart and a father heart.

I have felt that this year in some of my hardest, heartbroken moments.

And now, as I have felt (well, I think I have anyway) the first tiny little flutters and movements of the baby growing inside me, I am deeply, deeply humbled.

We are with child.

A beautiful child that fills my heart with joy. That I love already so much.

I am so excited.

And grateful for my mother heart that has been with me all along.