Tune out.

I have a confession. I believe I use the internet too much.

Much. too. much.

I love the internet and think it is wonderful to have so much information so accessible to us. And so I use it frequently. I think of random things throughout the day and then look them up later. I read nice blogs and the news and parenting info. I shop. Or research things that I would like to buy but don't.

Pretty much I do it too much.

The online world can never compensate for the real world in our homes with our children.

I've been thinking about that lately because oftentimes when I am nursing G I catch up on email or research something or do something online that is not even close to being as important as savoring my time with my growing baby.

And then I think to myself, In five years am I going to remember 'random internet search' or sweet, quiet moments with my baby?

You know how they say that nursing is a wonderful bonding time for mother and baby to stare into each others eyes?

Sometimes that doesn't happen. But mostly, it's true. Babies do gaze up at you with their big, loving eyes. Gaze and gaze and gaze for so long that it feels like it penetrates your soul. Truly. They gaze for amounts of time that adults would never dream of staring at someone for. It is lovely.

And in that moment you two are the center of the universe.

Almost a year ago my mom, who drank multiple diet cokes everyday, quit her diet coke drinking cold-turkey. She decided that is what she wanted to do so she jumped right in. She's pretty inspiring.

I don't plan on quitting the internet. But I have been spending substantially less time on it. Just a little every other day or so and not when G is awake.

I hope to maximize the time I do spend on it. To make it worthwhile. And to not fall into aimlessness.

Because that is just silly when there is the cutest, lovely sweet baby, eager to learn from and coo to and smile and gaze at his mama.

I could soak it up forever.

Blog Safety: A Must Read.

Isn't it amazing how friendships can be maintained, created, and enriched through blogging? Seriously, it is so amazing. I love reading my real life and i-life friends blogs. And every time someone new posts a comment on mine, or I see a new follower I feel a host of wonderful emotions: excitement, warmth, love, connection.

Yes, blogging can be a wonderful thing.

A couple of months ago when I started blogging more frequently a news story appeared on blog safety. What was an innocent and fun hobby-turned into a nightmare for the featured families.

This got me thinking. While situations like the families in the news story are rare- they do happen. The internet makes everything you post public. Accessible to all the wonderful people most likely to be encountered on blogs- but also accessible to creeps, criminals, bullies, and negative energy.

After watching this news story, I practically felt like I wanted to close my blog down. So I did more research.

One question needed to be answered: Do the benefits of blogging outweigh the risks? The answer I came up with, for now, was yes. But only if I implemented a few smart safety measures.

Think about this:

You write a post about why you love living in Blanktown. You write a post about your favorite little restaurant a couple of blocks away from your house. You write a post about spring cleaning and take a picture of the pile of junk sitting in front of your house before being taken to goodwill. You write a post about how exciting it was to watch the Super Bowl on your new Plasma TV. You write a post about how excited you are to go to Hawaii in two weeks! You write a post about your daughter Fifi's princess birthday party. The title of your blog is "Hangin' with the Henrys!"

You have now given someone your town and neighborhood (via your favorite restaurant near your house). You have given them your address (because oops, it's showing in that spring cleaning picture). You have given details about valuables in your home. You have given information about exactly when you will be on vacation and not in your home. You have provided details about your child: her picture, her first and last name, what neighborhood she lives in (making it easy to find what school she attends) and information that someone could use to make her think her family knows them (Your parents told me all about that princess birthday party you had!)

I feel sick thinking about it. Likely, even if some of that information were on the blog, nothing would come of it. But why not take some common sense measures? And so I give you:

Blog Safety Tips

Don't post pictures you wouldn't be comfortable having on the internet forever. When I posted about meeting The Bachelor Jason- I got hundreds of hits to my blog with the traffic coming from a few sources. Curious, I followed one of the links on my analytics page and was led to a Bachelor message board where lo and behold my picture had been copied and posted for all too see and not just for my humble little audience.

Don't post personal information about family members and friends. (ie: names, school names, where people live, etc.) DO use pseudonyms which can be a lot of fun!

Don't use your name as your blog address and if your name is your e-mail address get a separate e-mail for blogging purposes.

Don't post your address or pictures and/or posts containing your address, or other identifying details such as photos of of house, photos of car (especially with the license plate showing) photos of your child's school, or your work, or your church building, or favorite coffee shop. etc.

Don't post details on your blog you wouldn't be comfortable with anyone reading! This includes your boss, your mother, your neighbors, your spouse, your children, your church group, your coworkers, etc!!!

If you have a public domain name make sure you register it as private. (it's worth the extra $7 a year) This means if people search for your blog on the WHOIS Database your information will be private and not revealed.

Do not post about when you will be on vacation, or how much you hate having the house all to yourself because your husband or roommates are out of town. Post about these things after they happen. You can even write it while it is happening, just post it later, ok?

Track your readership. I use google analytics. By doing this, you will be able to see how many people visit your blog each day (a fun tool!). You will also be able to see who links to you, how they link to you, etc. and you can follow these links to make sure it is someone you are comfortable linking to you. You will have information on if certain search terms are linking to your blog, etc. Basically, you will be able to access valuable information.

Delete and comments you are not comfortable having posted.

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In addition to these tips it's important to be mindful when on other people's blogs.

Basic Blogging Etiquette

Do not post any of the above information about somebody else on your blog. ie: "The Browns just left for Europe yesterday and I'm sooo jealous!" or "Rachel and I just spent three hours complaining about our jobs!" or "I drove Mickey and her friend Fifi to Sunnyhill Elementary School's science fair today."

When linking to friends blogs link to the title of their blog NOT their names ie: Aprons and Heels NOT Sarah and Riley Anderson

When commenting on other's blogs use the same names they use on their blog to refer to people. So, if your friend Katie calls herself Mabel and her child Broccoli, you call them Mabel and Broccoli! If you would prefer to not use that name then use the first initial, M., B. etc.

Always ask permission when posting photos of others!

And, BE NICE! don't say anything on anyone's blog you wouldn't say to their face with their children and your mother and your friends overhearing you. The blogosphere, at least my blogosphere, isn't meant to be a nasty place. Real people are behind blogs with real emotions. Let's focus on the positive.

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This post is definitely not intended to scare anyone away from blogging. There is power in being educated, aware and smart. And in this fairly new community we could all use a little reminder now and again. Now that I've written this and revisited this topic I'm even thinking of coming up with a cool blog name for myself! Why not?!

I truly believe blogging is a wonderful media and can be used for so much good. I can site so many blogs that have reached me in profoundly positive ways. And on a daily basis I am entertained, educated, and touched by so many smart, creative, witty, wonderful women bloggers!

I encourage you to read these articles for great blogging safety information:

Be a Safe Blogger by Blogging Mommies

Eight Safety Tips For Blogging by Look Both Ways Online Safety Consulting

And the Think Before You Post Campaign by Cyber Tipline

Blogging: I love it, I love it not

Ok, well it's been quite a long time since I last posted.... I'm not very consistent with this whole blogging thing. You see, I want to be and I don't want to be at the same time. Part of me thinks blogging is amazing- it connects me to so many people that in normal life I wouldn't have opportunities to connect with-and I love that. It keeps me in touch with friends and family. It helps me celebrate the life I'm living and the choices I'm making. It records life events and provides a space for preservation. When I blog I feel like I am part of a community. I feel a sense of warmth, acceptance, and happiness when old friends and others take the time to comment on my little post. And I feel the same when I comment on theirs. But there is this other part of me that hates blogging- that is even repulsed by it sometimes.

You know at Christmastime when suddenly all the holiday cards come piling in- complete with newsletters and updates on everyones achievements and great events of the year- and they are wonderful and obnoxious at the same time- and you gleefully, juicily, read them all and soak them in. It's a great tradition really, I enjoy it- but it happens once a year. With blogging, sometimes it can feel like holiday newsletters-- all. year. long. It's not that I don't love reading about what everyone is doing and sharing what I'm doing with others- but I have a hard time sometimes with the happy holiday card aspect of it.

I'm not cynical, in fact, I believe I'm very much an optimist. But I'm also a human, and thus I am susceptible to, at times, comparing myself and holding myself up to unrealistic standards. For years and years I have avoided reading women's and gossip magazines- maybe the occasional Oprah- but Cosmo, US Weekly and the like- no way. As I see it, why even go there? It's not real and it's definitely not going to get me any closer to living a healthy, balanced life.

In a way blog hopping, stalking, whatever you want to call it is like reading gossip magazines- only this time it's real- these are real people that I know- these are their real lives (albeit their polished ones). Generally, everything is cheery, everyone is doing amazing things, and somehow through viewing it all I start to feel like my life doesn't quite hold up in comparison.

Because day to day life for me is not glossed up and happy holiday blog-worthy... my life is, well, normal. And who wants to share that stuff? In a way, I'm almost more put-off by those who do- those who share-overshare- in borderline disrespectful ways- too many details about themselves and others. There are just some things that are private, moments that belong only to those who were there and I have too much respect for myself, my husband, and my family and friends to be that kind of a blogger.

So I guess I don't know where I will go from here. I'll probably blog the same as I have been, maybe I'll change it up a little bit. But just for the record, when those inevitable picture perfect posts creep up I'm Jenny: normal girl.